Is It Time for Assisted Living?

Since this blog is dedicated to helping people age in place, i.e., to stay in their homes as they age, it might seem antithetical for me to be writing about assisted living. But sometimes, moving into senior or assisted living is a prudent choice. I’ve decided to write about this topic because one of my friends is going through conniptions as she and her parents grapple with the decision. Some representatives from The Greens at Cannondale in Wilton, CT, came and talked to a small group of us from Aging in Place in Darien a couple of months ago. They had a list of questions to help people with the decision. I can't remember all of the questions. So I made up my own list to send to my friend. I'm sharing it with all of you.

How do you know when it is time to move to assisted living?

This is a loaded question. How can a functioning, with-it adult decide that the time is right? How can a confused, forgetful adult make such a decision? How can adult children help their parents make the decision – and stick with it? All we can do is to start asking questions.

As you ask them, you could also consider – How easy would it be to hire the help you need so that you can stay in your home? What would it cost? Would renting an apartment or small home and bringing in help be a smart solution in this awful housing market?

Then, weigh the pros and cons – the costs and benefits of both scenarios.

Transportation:
Do you drive with no difficulty day and night?
If not, who does the driving?
Do you need help getting in and out of the vehicle?
Would it be easier if someone else took care of transportation?

Mobility:
Can you walk without assistance?
Do you fall often?
Do you need a walker or cane or wheelchair?
Would you like a little more help?
Could your home or apartment be made easier to navigate?
Or would it be better to be in an environment that was made to make it easy to get around and do things?

Social & Emotional:
Do you have friends?
Do you have social engagements?
How much do you get out?
Do you enjoy friends and going out?
Would it be easier to walk down the hall to play bridge, have a coffee, share a cup of tea, have a meal or join in other activities?
What if you could take a van with friends to a concert or play?

Mental
(This is for the adult kids to answer)
Is your parent alert and engaged intellectually?
Is he or she withdrawn?
Is he or she often confused or forgetful?
Are there signs of dementia?
Could an environment in which people who care about your parent, and are there to help, be really helpful?

Food
Do you still want to shop for your food?
Can you prepare all your meals?
Are they good meals? Do you still enjoy cooking?
Would you prefer to dine with others and have some or all of your meals prepared for you?
Do you need help with eating?

Medication
How many medications do you take?
How do you keep track of what you take and when?
Could you use some help by having an aide give you your pills exactly when you need them?

Bathing and Grooming
Can you do all the facets of bathing, grooming, etc?
Do you need any help?
Would grab-bars in the bathroom be helpful?
Is someone around to help you if you get stuck?
Can you easily call for help if you fall?
Have you ever gotten stuck and felt frustrated?
Do you still shave, wash your face, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on make-up?
Do you have an problems with incontinence? Little accidents?

Your Senses
How well do you hear, see, taste and smell?
Do you wear glasses or a hearing aid?
Can you keep track of them?

Housing
How well can you maintain your home?
Do you still clean? (dust, floors, bathroom, kitchen)
Can you still change light bulbs, etc.?
Take care of outside maintenance (lawn, gutters, etc)?

Be thoughtful, serious and honest as you answer these questions. Be open. The answers may lead you to making a really smart decision.

Anyone else out there who has better or other questions, please make comments on this blog. Just click on “Comments”.

Disabled Vet Helps Disabled Vet

West Haven, CT –

When Carl MacLeod joined the Disabled Veterans of America, he knew he wanted to give back to other veterans like himself. Little did he know that soon he would find himself on the receiving end of help. Diagnosed in 2004 with chronic solvent encephalopathy, also known as “Gulf War Syndrome,” Carl became unable to work as a plant maintenance manager at Clairol. He was also unable to continue to renovate his fixer-upper house in West Haven, Connecticut, to be handicap accessible. Fate interfered further when his elderly father suffered a debilitating heart attack, and Carl and his wife, Kristy, discovered multiple bureaucracies blocking their access to adequate disability payments.

Carl and Kristy are now living in a half-gutted home along with four of their six children. They have also taken in Carl’s frail parents. Carl has good days in addition to the bad ones. He still manages to assist other disabled vets by coordinating their transportation and helping them fill out disability forms. It’s through the volunteer work for Disabled Veterans of America that another vet, Henry Racki, became aware of Carl’s plight and realized he might be able to provide a solution.

“I wanted to give back to someone who gave to his country,” said Henry, owner of Rockfall Construction, a disabled-veteran-held company. Rockfall does home renovations and builds and installs Practical Assisted Living Solutions (“PALS”) modular additions through its Ready Living Structures Division.

“Anyone who wants to enable aging parents or a disabled loved one to live at home instead of in an institution can attach a PALS modular addition to their house and provide a safe, secure, handicap accessible living environment,” said Henry. “These additions provide independence because they easily meet people’s special needs at a fraction of the cost of assisted living or a nursing home.”

Henry visited Carl with the idea of donating a PALS addition to him, but once he saw how much Carl was trying to do for his family and for others, the extent of the work that needed to be done on the MacLeod home, and the series of unfortunate events that had befallen them, he wanted to do more. “It was like the ‘finger of fate’ had really gone after this guy. And the system had abandoned them.”

Without sufficient disability pay or Carl’s salary, the family is living under a load of debt and cannot take on more. Kristy has a job as an office manager but in this economy is fearful of losing it.

Henry has refused to stand by. He got together with Dick Schmidt, owner of ProBuilt Modular Homes in Mifflintown, PA, and developed a plan to provide Carl and his family with a PALS unit for their home. “I’m now assisting the MacLeods to complete the entire renovation project. We’ve done a plot plan and a master construction plan, secured the zoning variances and building permits, and are preparing the ground for the PALS addition. This is like an ‘Extreme Makeover Home Edition’, but we don’t have TV sponsors picking up the tab.”

Henry’s company can only do so much. He is actively looking for veterans organizations, church groups, other contractors, supply companies or just good people to donate time, talent, materials or funding to facilitate the completion of MacLeods’ home makeover. He estimates that it will cost $40,000 to bring the MacLeod home up to code and provide accessible living to Carl and his parents.

Anyone who would like to help – or knows an organization that can – should contact Henry Racki at 860-790-6291 or email him at: henry@rockfallco.com.

Kristy MacLeod said in a letter to Henry that he “was truly God sent” and that she and her family will be “forever grateful” to any organization that can help them.

Continuing Care Vs. Aging in Place

My parents-in-law were determined not to be a burden, so they decided to move to a continuing care community. My aunt is determined to stay as far away as possible from a CCC, opting rather to live near one of her sons in her own home. Aging in Place has become an economic and lifestyle choice for many. The Wall Street Journal had a good essay on Continuing Care Communities in their Encore section on retirement this past weekend. The writer asks if moving is really such a good idea, given the costs.
Here is a link:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052970204333804574159582221794994.html

Wyn